~1966-67 Present Day Storylines
* Carolyn going to a
movie like most normal teens do...
* Carolyn going
out with a normal, or semi-normal guy... (i.e. :
"Buzz")
* Barnabas getting
in and out of his coffin... EVER...
* A bathroom in
Collinwood.
* Liz out in the
garden tending to her plants in a pair of overalls....
<g>
* Vicky saying
"Oh yes, I understand."
*Nathan Forbes ever
changing out of his uniform (even as a ghost, he will wear his
uniform always)... hope he had it washed every once and a
while. ROTFL...
*Ben Stokes trying
to prefect the "change Joshua into a cat" spell...
*All the women of
Collinwood/Old House wearing the ceremonial packet o' poison
on a
necklace around their neck...
*Barnabas as a 25
year old (no offense, but no way could he be passed off as
25!)...
~Ghost of
Quentin/Beth Storyline
* Quentin actually
telling David and Amy the next thing he wants them to do...
* A single day
David and Amy didn't spend possessed, plotting, lurking around
the West Wing or raising general havoc and mischief
in Collinwood.
*Anyone eating any
kind of food... at any time.
~1897 Storyline
* Quentin carrying his Gramophone all around the house; from one
room to the
other so he can listen to his theme song ...........
* Angelique: She may know the secret of time but what we don't
see is her
slaving away at the stove trying to figure out the secret of a
meatloaf.....
* Edward: Trying to figure out why that darn drawing room door
won't close
right........
* Barnabas: Lugging his
Coffin from one place to another, trying to squeeze it
in & out of doorways.......
* Rev. Trask: Playing dress-up in his room when no one is
looking......
* Magda: Playing fetch with her severed pet hand, "Here,
Petofi, Petofi,
Petofi!".............
* Carl: Trying to stuff that fake snake in a can to in a sad
attempt to scare
Quentin, "I said I would get you back for trying to kill
me!"............
* Judith: Wonder what she is doing all that time that we don't
see her? Well
she is trying to get her hair in that complicated doo she is
always
sporting.........
* Where Barnabas puts his
clothes and cane when he goes to 'sleep' in the
Old House basement... (does he bring it with him in the coffin?)
*Quentin trying to fit his gramophone in that small little
handbag he owns,
then after trying for an hour & finally realizing it is not
going to fit and
he will not be able to take it....he faints.
(this was why he was late getting to the train station to meet
Amanda you know ;).........
*Barnabas hammering together a extra coffin for his doppelganger
in 1897
(we then discover he isn't a very good
Carpenter...).......
*Julia doing something other than preparing a needle and getting
ready
to administer a sedative!
*Edward singing the 'Ta ra ra boom de a!' song in the
shower.......(scary)
*Charles Delaware Tate drawing (and creating) Tella Tubbies in
his spare
time........
*Count Petofi buying hand lotion by the barrel -- special
order.......
*Quentin drinking a glass
of milk, orange juice, or any other type of non-alcoholic
beverage...
*Count Petofi actually wearing *two* gloves......
*Aristede playing Hopscotch in his spare time.....
*Reverend Trask molding his hair so he has that nice and
attractive widows
peak in the middle....
*Angelique going to the future (from 1897 etc) every other week
so she can check her e-mail and surf the net......
(yes, the mystery is solved...that is where she is ;)
* We see Quentin's room in
the West Wing quite frequently, but never his bed or Quentin in
a bed. Course the man never sleeps anyway... (passes out, yes.
Sleeps? No.)
*Angelique baking her clay dolls in the oven to get that nice
crisp,
realistic look......
*Lady Hampshire wearing slacks and a T-shirt or anything that
isn't for an
evening ball......
*Quentin working out so next time he tries to break a sherry
glass he won't
be so...um...embarrassed........
*Pansy singing anything
but "I Wanna Dance With You..."
~Leviathan Storyline
*Julia Hoffman sadly attempting to fake Quentin's portrait in an
effort to
make herself feel better (See! There *was* a Portrait!).....
*Quentin - (oops) - Grant
Douglas feeling a sudden urge to run and nab that
black phonograph that still sits in the antique shop....
*Liz listening to her
favorite music band in her spare time....the Beatles.
*David drawing little
black mustaches and goatee's on all the figures in the
Leviathan book....
*Roger sneaking the
Transistor radio he bought for David out into the garden
where he secretly gets down and jiggy with it....
*Angelique using her
powers to make Phillip Todd fall in love with her (Good
luck!)....
*Megan Todd dumpster
diving for stuff Michael can wear after his next 5 foot
growth spurt......
*Barnabas turning the
entire animal population of Collinsport into
Leviathans....(well someone has to do it!)....
*Quentin (darn!) - Grant
wondering where all those flea's he is finding in
his apartment are coming from.....
*Julia helping Grantin
(you know who I mean) w/ his flea problem, bug bombed
his entire apartment... little did she know he was still -in-
the apartment....
*Chris counting the number
of padded squares in his all white padded room at
Wyncliffe......
*Nicholas Blair, Barnabas Collins, Quentin Collins, Angelique,
Jeb and Chris
sneaking out into the garden and dancing to the 'Monster Mash'
by Boris
Pickett (Remember that song!)......
*Barnabas, Quentin, Roger, Willie and Julia playing Musical
Coffins in their
spare time......
*Maggie and Carolyn signing up for the next 'Survivor' show
(what a
synch)....
*Liz putting a giant salad bowl over her head every morning to
shape that
perfectly round hair helmet that she's sporting............
*Bruno trying to make a new fur coat out of Jeb's throw rug...to
little
avail, what you see him wearing now is the result....
*The Dark Shadows stage
hands secretly switching the tea, that is supposed to pass
for brandy with the real thing on poor, unsuspecting David
Selby... (have you been dipiting into the whiskey supply?)
*Jeb going to his weekly ATLJA (Addicted to leather jackets
anonymous)
Group.....
*Skull -with- eyeballs.....
*Quentin and Maggie taking lessons in the fine art of tattooing,
although
unfortunately while drunk Quentin tattooed a pitchfork on Maggie
and
himself.....
*Angelique (Where did she go!?!)
*Sky making out with Philip when no one is looking... (OK, I am
sorry)....
*Peter Bradford trying to lasso the Collins cat with his
fashionable rope
(the one hanging from his neck ;), yes that is what it is
for............
~1970 Parallel Time Storyline
* Alexis taking secret tutoring lessons from the phantom piano
player.....
* Yeager rubbing shoe polish on his hair to make it look as
black and slick as street oil....
* Barnabas reciting the states in alphabetical order in his
coffin, now he can do it backwards......(no I will never let
this go!)
* Damien Edwards watching "Saturday Night Fever" for
fashion direction (I don't recommend this at home!).....
*Quentin is found uttering the word "damm*t" more
frequently now that the sound has been broken.....
*Trask (the butler) going to his weekly "how to remain calm
and comfortable in extreme circumstances" seminar.....
*Bruno getting vital (interesting word vital, implies living and
life...) hair teasing instructions from the ghost of Jenny....
*The speechless zombies Jeb carelessly left on the earth started
making a good living (?) as the music band "Half Scared to
Death", purely instrumental of course....
* Willie is caught by Carolyn trying to write a book entitled,
"The Ultimate Beer Guide", needless to say she said,
"It's going to be a hit honey!".
* Quentin actually wearing
jail clothes while he's *in jail*.
* Barnabas trying to master the fine art of moving objects with
his mind, will get back to you when he unlocks the chains and
lifts the coffin lid......
(this is while he is imprisoned by Will)
* Hoffman discovers a women named Martha Stewart and thinks she
would be a perfect replacement for Angelique....I am feeling
extremely sorry for Quentin at this point....
* William H. Loomis, the
writer, actually writing a book (and I'm not counting him taking
notes while listening to Barnabas, LOL) ....
* Barnabas getting in and
out of his coffin...
* Cyrus going shopping for
that ugly checkered, test pattern suit that Yeager wears...
* Quentin and Maggie
getting along for longer than 3 minutes...
* Buffy slaying
vampires... ( Buffy Harrington, that is ;)
* Cyrus is still trying to create the perfect Jell-O mold. Right
now the results are, well...to put it bluntly, not good.
~ 1995 Storyline
* Carolyn drawing on those
big, pointy eyebrows that she sported in 1995...
* The Ghosts of Gerard and
Daphne babysitting the ghosts of David, Hallie, Carrie and
Tad...
* Quentin staying in,
escaping from, or returning back to "Stormcrest
Sanitarium".
* David/Tad &
Hallie/Carrie's ghosts retaliating against the toys in the
playroom which are,
in their words, for children between the ages of 5 months to 5
years. (my god, we're teens for
crying out loud.)....
* Carolyn changing out of
that hideous clown-like bubble dress she wears throughout this
storyline...
* Crazy Quentin with a
feather duster and vacuum, cleaning and preparing the old house
so that it would be clean, ready and livable for Barnabas and
Julia upon their arrival. (OK, I admit I'm stretching it... but
why was the old house in such good shape when no one had lived
their for 25 years?)....
~ 1840 Storyline
* While building his
stairway through time; Quentin with a hammer or any kind of tool
in his hands. (amazing how you can build those stairways through
time with the power of
your sketched out plans and some good scotch tape.)...
* Gerard, Desmond and
Judah's headless body playing a game of 'hot potato' with
Judah's head...
* Desmond spoon feeding
the head of Judah Zachary...
* Any kind of law being
upheld in court while Quentin is on trial for witchcraft...
* Tad (did he even make
one appearance in this storyline?)...
* Gabriel managing to get
up and down the Collinwood foyer stairs in record time with a
wheel chair. (did he use the dumbwaiter or something?)...
* A servant of any kind at
Collinwood, other than a governess...
* Once again, Quentin
actually wearing jail clothes while he's *in jail*.
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